


And Tell Bellamy

by skycruuuuu



Category: The 100
Genre: Angst, Clarke Griffin & John Murphy Friendship, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Clarke Griffin, Hurt/Comfort, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin Friendship, Protective Bellamy Blake, The 100 (TV) Season 7 Speculation, the 100 season 7, the 100 tv season 7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:00:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26005318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skycruuuuu/pseuds/skycruuuuu
Summary: She willed herself to look away, she knew she wasn't going to make it out of this. She knew from the second she walked in the door, that she was not going to survive this. She didn't fear death though. Not when her death meant her friends and family would survive... sacrificing herself was the easiest thing she'd ever do.The 100 Season 7 au.Clarke vs. Sheidheda vs. Cadagon+ Bellarke angst
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Emori/John Murphy (The 100)
Comments: 64
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

"Wanheda." growled Sheidheda with a frightening grin. His dark eye glittered with the promise of violence. "I see you've finally came to confront me." 

"Let my friends go." Clarke ground out standing at the front of the hall. She tilted her chin up, her eyes as hard as stone as she glared at the man sitting on his throne of skulls. Sheidheda casually played with his knife as he stared right back at her. 

"Kneel." He said smirking. Clarke smirked right back. 

"No." There was an audible gasp from beside her and she saw her Madi tied up. Her daughter was tied up, and there was no way in hell she was going to stand for that.

She tilted her head slightly and there were all of her friends once again, tied up like Madi. Miller was gagged and practically growling like a rabid animal, Jackson lay beside him, his hands oozing with blood, but was luckily still alive.

Her eyes locked with Octavia who was shaking her head at her, pleading with her to not sacrifice herself yet again. Cadagon and his soldiers were tied and bound behind her. 

Echo looked fierce as always not showing an ounce of emotion, yet the tear tracks on her dirt stained face betrayed her. Clarke searched the room for the others, for Bellamy, and turned her eyes back to Sheidheda's when she found nothing. 

"No?" Questioned Sheidheda. "You will not kneel? Well that is a grave mistake Wanheda, and you will die for it." Sheidheda rose from his throne, and stalked towards her. 

"Your forgetting," Clarke said as she looked up at his looming figure, "that I am the commander of death." and with that Clarke ducked and slid across the room to her friends, shooting the guards who held them captive, while throwing a knife to Echo who caught it with a predatory grin. Chaos ensued immediately as she helped her friends escape their binds. 

" _Gonplei!"_ Indra shouted, her gun thrusted in the air, as her warriors rallied around her shooting down those still fateful to Sheidheda.

Clarke searched the room and a familiar head of brown hair sat huddled in the corner, her little hand locked with a boy who was shaking beside her. Both of their eyes were wide as they took in the battle raging in front of them. 

"Madi." she gasped as she knelt in front of the girl and enveloped her into her arms. Madi relaxed in the embrace. 

"Mom." She choked. "I'm scared. I want to go." she whispered. Clarke gazed into her big doe like brown eyes and nodded. 

"Of course." she whispered. "I'm gonna get you out of here." she turned to the shaking boy beside her, Luca, she believed was his name.

She vaguely recalled gossiping to Emori and Murphy in the days before everything went to shit about the crush the two harboured on each other, that seemed like a lifetime ago.

Now the boy was shaking as well, his eyes just as wide and innocent. She clutched his hand as well and looked him dead in the eyes. "Both of you." she finished fiercely, and the boy, bless his heart, nodded his head as he looked at her. 

Clarke scanned the room for an exit when she felt a cool blade press into her neck.

She slowly put her hands up and kept her eyes decietfuly calm in order to placate the two horrified kids in front of her.

She was roughly pulled up and she arched her neck to avoid the knife from slitting her throat. 

_"em pleni!"_ Enough, Sheidheda shouted from behind her, and the fighting came to a halt. Each side stopped and stared.

Her friend's eyes widened and she could see each of their reactions from where she was standing. She willed herself to look away, she knew she wasn't going to make it out of this. She knew from the second she walked in the door, that she was not going to survive this. She didn't fear death though. Not when her death meant her friends and family would survive... sacrificing herself was the easiest thing she'd ever do. 

"I have Wanheda." He said. "Your commander." Nobody denied the statement. "and now I am going to killl her and take her power, once and for all." She couldn't help internally rolling her eyes, Sheidheda was terrifiying and all, but sometimes she could not take him seriously. I mean who says “once and for all”, that’s just cheesy and sad. She was pulled out of her, quite frankly, concerning and not at all relevant thoughts when Sheidheda pressed his blade deeper into her skin. She grimaced as she felt the sting of the blade, her black blood oozing out of the new cut. 

"Clarke." Octavia chocked, her hands covering her mouth as she attempted to hold in a sob. Miller was growling, once again, and Echo's eyes were glinting violently. Indra stood strong, and Clarke tilted her head at her, attempting to try to let her know it was ok to let her die if this was how they would win.

Sheidheda kills her, Indra kills Sheidheda, Indra gets her power, Indra becomes commander. Indra however did not get the memo and shook her head at her. 

"Any last words Wanheda." Sheidheda said from behind her. He pulled the knife away from her slightly so that she could talk. 

"Not for you." she said. She could practically hear his frown. She locked eyes with Murphy and Emori (when did they get here?), Miller, and then Octavia. 

"I'm proud of you all." she said attempting to keep her voice steady. "Take care of my daughter." Miller nodded shortly, Octavia sobbed, and Murphy shook his head, clearly in denial. She scanned the room once more Jordan and Hope were clutching eachothers hands (again when did they get here?) and then she finally found Madi. The girl was sobbing next to Emori and Luca. Emori was clearly holding Madi back from running to her. 

"Madi." she said softly. "I love you. I love you so much, and I am so so proud of the fierce young woman you're becoming." Madi chocked on a sob as she screamed. Clarke held her eyes shut, trying to drown out the sound. She turned to Luca, and attempted to smile at him. He just stared at her completely terrified. "You two take care of each other, ok." Madi was still shaking. "I love you Mads." She turned to her friends once more. 

"And tell Bellamy." she said, her breath was starting to become uneven. "tell Bellamy that-that I forgive him." She took in another shaky breath. "Tell him-." she gasped again, her voice getting chocked up. "Tell him that I love him." A single tear slipped from her eye. Echo nodded once, and Clarke knew that he would get the message. Echo was a warrior and would honor her last wish. Murphy was still shaking his head. 

"Tell him yourself." He shouted back at her. Octavia was just repeadately chanting out no over and over again, and she could vaguely make out words like, "not my sister. Not Clarke. Not again." Gabriel was staring at her with sympathy in his eyes, and Clarke let herself look at Madi before she closed her eyes. She opened her mouth once more attempting to speak when a loud bang filled the hall and Sheidheda slid his dagger into her side. 

Her eyes widened and she chocked, slumping forwards. Her hands flew to her gut that was bleeding profusely.She lifted up her hands.

They were dripping with black blood. She looked upward.

Blood on her hands would not be the last thing she saw before she died.

Instead, she tilted her head up to the glittery dark sky and whispered those fateful, damning words. "May we meet again."

She could vaguely register people running to her, yelling, and a battle raging once more.

Multiple hands come to catch her fall, and one voice stuck out from the crowd.

She let herself smile slightly. Bellamy. She'd know that voice anywhere.

_Bellamy_ was the last thought in her head when everything finally went black. 

* * *

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" Murphy yelled slamming his hands down on the table. Bellamy flinched slightly, and then sighed. 

"I'm helping you." he said. Raven turned from her computer and glared at him. 

"Just so you can betray us to Cadagon all over again." she growled

Why couldn't they understand. The last war would stop all of this. Make it so that they would never have to go through violence and bloodshed ever again. 

"The last war will end all wars." he said, and his friends scoffed. He continued. "We will never have to do this again. There will _always_ be another war to fight unless we get the code and finally start the last one." 

"Over my dead body." Raven growled, he shook his head turning back to the monitor. 

Echo was running through the halls, attempting to get into the throne room. Echo. He and Echo were officially done, had been for days. They broke up when he got to bardo, but he knew their relationship was finished for good after the red toxin. 

When they were honest they knew that neither of them really loved eachother. Echo just wanted someone who she could follow again, and he- he was never truly in the relationship. 

"Where the hell is Clarke?" Emori questioned. 

Now that was the question of the day. Clarke Griffin, the girl everyone in the world seemed to be looking for. His shepard needed her for the flame. Sheidheda needed to kill her and gain her power. He just needed Clarke. 

"I don't know." Gaia said from his left. Now her story was interesting. "I saw Clarke after going through the anamoly and escaping from earth after that disciple crash landed us there, but I haven't seen her since." 

"I stil can't believe the anamoly is a fucking planet jumper." Murphy snarked. 

"Not are biggest problem right now." Raven quipped. 

Murphy groaned. "Ah what is are biggest problem. Pyshco Sheidheda, Cult Leader Cadagon and his," he mock quoted, “war to end all wars" or Brainwashed Belllamy with a terrible fashion sense." Murphy gestured to him, and he felt hot fury pulsing in his veins. He was not brainwashed! The shepard showed him the light! Showed him his mother, that was real! 

"I am not brainwashed." He ground out.

"Coulda fooled me." Murphy snarked back. He straightened his back. 

"My shepard is trying to _save_ us,." he emphasized, "I have seen the light." the words felt bland and tasteless in his mouth. "You need to see that light as we-" 

"Oh spare me." he interupted. "I am not going to hear your droopy cult drivel for one more second, it disgusts me." Bellamy clenched his jaw. 

"How. Dare. You.-" 

"How dare I?" he questioned incredously. "How dare I?" at this point everyone in the room was staring at them.

The sanctumites that were still hidden in the mechanics shop eye's were darting between the two of them like this was some sort of tennis match.

Raven was glaring at him.

Gaia was rubbing her forhead and muttering random shit, while Emori stood tense on the side.

Levitt, it seemed, thought this was some sort of tv show, Hope's eyes were wide as she stared at him, while Jordan sulked in the corner, clearly not liking all the fighting. 

"How dare you." Murphy glared.

He glared right back. Couldn't Murphy see that he was doing this for _them_. "How dare you betray everyone the second you were given an easy way out. How dare _you_ betray Clarke. How dare you believe in this stupid shepard shit when you were clearly just hallucinating like everyone else did when they were stuck alone in a seemingly hopeless situation."

Bellamy narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth attempting to deny Murphy. 

"You think I didn't hallucinate when Jaha trapped me. I sure as hell did, and that's because I was ALONE." Bellamy furrowed his brow, not liking where this was going. 

"Do you think Clarke didn't hallucinate when she was on earth by herself for three months after we left her to die." the room collectively flinched, "because I sure as hell know she did, in fact she probably even hallucinated while she was with Madi. Do you want to know why. BECAUSE SHE WAS FUCKING ALONE WITH ONLY.A CHILD FOR COMPANY! She was probably starving and sick, of course she hallucinated. Why can't you fucking see that your whole _revelation_ was just a hallucination?" Bellamy shook his head, but Murphy plowed on. 

"How dare you let Cadagon send all your friends to a different planet. How dare you not protest when Cadagon said he would execute your friends, your family. How dare you consider the idea of putting Raven in an Mcap. How dare you not care that Octavia was stuck in that Godamn Mcap"

That's not true. He did protest, he did try to save them. He did care about O. He fucking loved her, he was just trying to save her. Save all of them. The last war could do that. Right? 

"How dare you let Cadagon manipulate Clarke like that. How dare you end your relationship with Echo so terribely. I mean seriously, everyone knows you two were never in love, but you put this stupid cause in front of her. It apparantly meant more to you than Echo. That's fucked up." Bellamy opened his mouth once again only to be shut down by Murphy. 

"How dare you sit back and do NOTHING, How dare you let Clarke get TORTURED!" Bellamys mouth snapped shut.

He didn't. He didn't let her get tortured. No. That wasn't his fault, Clarke refused to cooporate. That wasn't his fault right? His muttered protests fell to deaf ears. Everyone was gaping at this point. 

"Clarke Griffin. CLARKE GRIFFIN." Murphy yelled waving his hands in front of you. "Who the hell even are you?" 

The question echoed in his brain. 

"How could you let them torture Clarke Griffin. Clarke Griffin the woman you're in _love_ with. The woman you've been in love with since we got to the ground." His eyes snapped up to Murphy's. 

"You have no idea what you're talking about." Murphy just shook his head. 

"Don't even deny it. You know its true. We all know it's true, hell you practically admitted it a thousand different times on the ring."

Bellamy continued to shake his head, his eyes darting around.

Raven was staring at the two of them with an unreadable look, while Emori's eyes held pity.

Jordan and Hope looked like they were on the edge of their seat... waiting to hear what he'd say. The truely were kids, and they were raised on stories about him, he wondered if they even registered that this was not some bedtime story. 

" You are not the main I grew to become friends with. In fact, I don't even know who you are anymore." Murphy muttered turning away from him effectively ending the conversation. Bellamy blinked tilting his head up to the ceiling. Murphy didn't know what he was talking about. Murphy turned to him. "If Clarke dies that's on you." he finished pointing a figure at him. An audible gasp went through room. Even Raven, the queen of taking things to far, looked shocked. She sent Murphy a look he couldn't decipher while Bellamy took a step back. 

He was spirriling. Was he wrong. Was the shepard not the way. No. No. He saw his mom, it wasn't a hallucination. Yet, yet he was still frowning, still doubting. And Clarke. God. Clarke. He would not let her die. There is no godamn way in hell she's dying on him. Not a fucking chance. He shook his head and attempted to tune back into the conversation. Raven was ordering everyone around.

"Murphy, Emori, Hope, and Jordan. You guys are going throught the secret entrance through right there. Watch from above and be prepared to shoot." They all nodded and she handed them voice coms. "Gabriel you're leading anyone else who wants to fight through the back route where you will end up behind Indra." Gabriel nodded, and gathered a group. "Gaia, Levitt, and Bellamy, you two are with me. We're going to be monitoring the displays." 

"Don't you only need two other people for that?" Levitt questioned. Raven nodded. 

"Yes but I don't trust Bellamy over here." She said thrusting her head towards her. He shook his head indignantly. 

"I want Sheidheda gone just as much as anybody else her Rave-" 

"I don't give a flying fuck about that. I know you want Sheidheda gone, but once we take him out... I can't trust what you'll do next. I don't know If you'll hand us right back over to Cadagon and that is not a risk i'm willing to make." He flinched at the harsh words, Raven and Murphy gave out a few more orders and then everyone was off. 

The four of them sat in silence until Murphy's voice buzzed in their comms.

"We're in." He said. Raven gave a curt nod. 

"Allright, i'm hacking in, gonna dim the light create some chaos give you a chance to escape. Gabriel are you in position."

"Yep." Came his voice. 

"Levitt, Gaia I need you to-"

"Holy Shit." Murphy interrupted. "It's Clarke." Raven spun around in her chair so fast he thought it would break. The four of them craned to look at the monitor- and there she was. 

She strood right into the hall, calm and collected not showing an ounce of fear even though she looked like she'd been through hell and back. Her golden blonde hair was dirts and there were streaks of dark black in it, blood, he realized with a start. Her jacket was gone, and she was left in a tight tank that was slashed showing off a bit of her midriff... she looked way to good, he shook his head clearing his thoughts. He watched the two of them with rapt attention. Sheidheda vs. Wanheda... she was never really Wanheda though. She wasn't some commander of death she was Clarke. The Clarke who paints and plays with kids, and leads her people to victory over and over again. The Clarke that never backs down from a fight. 

He caught the tail end of Sheidheda's conversation. " Well that is a grave mistake Wanheda, and you will die for it." Sheidheda rose from his throne, and stalked towards her. He stood up quickly. Raven was furiously dishing out orders. 

"We have to go right now." he said. Raven turned to him incredoulous. 

"Bellamy what the hell are we going to be able to do over there. There's not enough time." Raven said, her eyes never straining for the monitor. 

"I don't care. I will not let him kill Clarke." he said. 

"And you think I want that?!" Raven yelled. He shook his head. 

"Then we need to leave." He said. Raven relented nodding slightly muttering something under her breath. 

"There's the Bellamy I know." he vaguely made out as the four of them ran to the great hall. 

"Murphy what the hell is going on ?" Raven questioned from the coms. 

"Clarke just. Holy shit! Clarke just slid across the room, shot down a bunch of guards, threw a knife to Echo, and then began freeing all of our friends." He said, awe clear in his voice. "Our princess got moves... where the hell did she learn to fight like that?" he questioned. 

"Ummm. probably from Lexa... she probably learned some of her skills when the flame was in her head." Levitt interrupted.... he continued talking. "Or maybe she trained during her 6 years alone on Earth... I mean Madi is a good fighter and Clarke taught her so-" 

"Levitt that is literally so unimportant right now." Gaia interuppted. The man in question blushed and muttered a right sorry under his breath. 

The four of them continued running, until they heard a shout from the coms that stopped them dead in his tracks. 

"Sheidheda has Clarke." Murphy whispered. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. He ran with a new vigor and burst into the hall slamming the door open. Raven, Levitt, and Gaia right behind him. 

Sheidheda had a knife to Clarke's neck. Nobody had noticed them yet, and Bellamy couldn't get his eyes off of Clarke. She was staring at his friends a resigned look in her eyes. He was diagonally behind Sheidheda, he could make the shot... but it was to close to Clarke. He raised his gun anyway, and then Clarke's next sentence rang through the air. 

"And tell Bellamy." she said, her breath was starting to become uneven. His own breath hitched. God. What. What was she going to say.

"tell Bellamy that-that I forgive him." She took in another shaky breath. She forgived him. Of course she forgived him. He was such an idiot. Clarke was going to die and this was all his fault. His gun was shaking in his hands as he tried to make a clear shot. Clarke continued talking

"Tell him-." she gasped again, her voice getting chocked up. "Tell him that I love him." A single tear slipped from her eye. The words echoed in Bellamy's brain. 

Tell him that I love him

Tell him that I love him

_Tell him that I love him_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys please let me know abt anything you are feeling rn in the comments, if your going to continue watching the show, or even continuing to be a part of the fandom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys please let me know abt anything you are feeling rn in the comments, if your going to continue watching the show, or even continuing to be a part of the fandom

Hi guys. 

Bellamy Blake is dead and I honestly have no words. Jason can go fuck himself... to kill him in such a spiteful manner is despicable. This was like Jason's big f u to the fans, and I can not watch this shown anymore. I will however be continuing this fic and continuing to make Bellarke fics, because they deserve whatever happy ending I can give them... I just won't be posting it today. I was planning on finishing this chapter today and updating my other Bellarke fic (snapped) tmrw but right now I can't bring it in myself to do that. I am grieving the wonderful, amazing Bellamy Blake who deserved so much better. 

(Also abt the Arryn sitch... apparantely she was proven wrong and Eliza's ex boyfriend who she was dating during the supposed affair released a tweet saying he sided with Eliza or smth... idk the deets but lots more evidence is coming out that she is lying, and idk what to think abt that so please comment abt what u think... if she was lying that's a horrible terrible thing to do, not only to B+E, but to the hundreds of victims and survivors who she's making coming out abt there story harder) Moving back to Bellamy. 

To the people who say i'm overeacting. Stop. Jason knew _exactly_ what he was doing. He gaslighted and baited and made fun of Bellarke shipper for _years_. Years, and that is not ok. I remember Bob coming out with a cryptic tweet abt gaslighting in the show and his character's ending, and honestly I feel like I should've know. Eliza and Bob not giving two f's abt this season was such a big clue, the only time they promoted the show was when Lindsey directed an episode... I don't even remember Alycia promoting this season at all, when she normally does. Jason was wrong for this, this really isn't ok. 

Bellamy was an amazing character and my heart hurts right now. I don't even think I can rewatch this show. This was a cruel and spiteful thing to do, and quite honestly it was terrible story telling. I saw an interview that from Jason who said he thought that this would be the most talked about episode, and honestly that makes it even worse. He just did it for the shock factor and the attention, and Bellamy, the fans, and Bob deserve so _so_ much better. A message to you Jason, I hope your prequel and season finale gets no views and your never in charge of a show again. 

Lots of love to my fellow Bellarkers! 

#JusticeforBellamyBlake


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

A shot rang out. 

The noise pierced the air and people stopped and turned to the direction it came from. 

Bellamy's gun was raised in the air. His hand shaking. Time seemed to slow down. It was hard to pinpoint what happened first. Bellamy's shot or Sheidheda's dagger. 

It didn't matter. 

Sheidheda's brains were scattered around the room. 

It was a damn good shot. An assasination, pure and simple, a far cry from the first time the curly haired man had shot somebody. 

The man dropped his gun and ran to the blonde woman with stars in her eyes. 

" _Clarke_." he whispered cradling her head. Nobody breathed. Not one person moved a muscle for a single second, and then an anguished cry was ripped from the man's lips, and time started once again. 

Bellamy pulled the woman's body close to his chest. Rocking her back and forth, he locked eyes with Murphy in front of him and tried to convey how sorry he was, how guilty, how _heartbroken._

" _Bellamy_." Raven said, turning to him. He ignored her, and his eyes seemed to turn into steel. A new resolve in them. 

"Clarke." he said again. No response. "Help!" he shouted. "SOMEBODY GET A GODAMN MEDIC" 

What the hell were these people doing. Sitting and staring. All he could think about was Clarke. Clarke. Clarke. Clarke.

The woman he loved. The woman who loved _him_. He would not let her die. Not now, not ever. 

Jackson came running over. Gently turning her over. Clarke's face was pale, and her eyes were closed. Jackson was ordering people around grabbing cloths, everything sounded muted. Raven's cries, the battle coming to an end, Indra's victory chant. None of it mattered. 

"We need to get to medical." Jackson said urgently. Someone attempted to grab Clarke but he pulled her body close and gently lifted her up, carrying her bridal style. 

The infarmary was crowded. Everyone was clammaring over each other to get to Clarke, while Jackson and his assistants flitted around the room. 

Someone was pressing a cloth to Clarke's stomach, and Bellamy was fiercely gripping Clarke's hand. 

"Let me through!" a voice rang out, normally so small, "I SAID LET ME IN!" The girl screamed again. And then the doors were swinging open and a brunette blur was flying through pushing her way through people to get to Clarke. 

" _Mom_." She cried, stopping once she saw her. 

"Madi." Murphy said quietly. "I don't think you want to see this." Madi turned her furious gaze to Murphy. 

"No. No! NO! I have to I-i have to." 

" _Madi."_ Raven said gently in a voice Bellamy had never heard before. 

"No. None of you get to- none of you get to pretend like like you cared, when you were so _mean_ to her. You- you" Madi stuttered her breathing shallow and uneven, sobs interrupting her sentances. "blamed her for everything. Everything! When-when most of it wasn't even her-her fault." 

His companions each drew in sharp breaths, Raven's careful expression crumbling. 

"Of course I cared." she retorted back, sharp and quick. 

"NO!" Madi yelled. "No you didn't. None of you did." 

"Hey." Jordan interrupted his hands up as if placating a wild animal. "That's not fair." Madi turned her gaze to him. 

"No. What's not fair is Clarke sacrificing herself over and over and over for _them,"_ she cried thrusting an accusing finger forward, "Only to have them hate her and condemn her over and over and over again." 

"Somebody get her out of here." Jackson said interupting Madi's rage speech. 

"No." She cried. "No I have to be here." Murphy was attempting to make her leave, sighing as he wrapped an arm around her waist to restrain her from running. Madi was still screaming, tears running down her face.

"I wish we never opened that stupid bunker! I wish you never came down to the ground! I wish we were back to how it used to be! Just me and- and Clarke." Madi said furiously. "Now Let. Me. Go." She cried struggling in Murphy's grip. 

"Madi." Bellamy finally said, "Clarke wouldn't want you to be here for this." He glanced at Madi who was crying. She stopped struggling and just scowled rubbing her face. 

"I don't care." She said coldly, her eyes turning hard and stone like. "I don't care if it's not what she would've wanted. I DON'T CARE!" she yelled struggling in Murphy's grip. "Because Clarke's not here and it's your fault. ALL OF YOU! Now let me go." She finished. "Now." 

"I'm sorry Madi,"Raven tried, "But we have to honor what Clarke would have wanted-"

"When have you ever cared about what Clarke would've wanted, or what Clarke would've done?" Madi questioned bitterly. "You don't deserve her. You don't. You don't. You were horrible to her, _horrible_. I hate you." Raven staggered back as if she was slapped, and even Murphy looked shocked. 

Madi immedietly seized the opportunity and elbowed Murphy in the gut making a break for Clarke when lo and behold Octavia stepped in front of her. 

"Madi, stop." The girl glanced up at her. "This is not a fight you can win. This isn't your battle, it's Clarke, and you being here right now is making it harder her for her to fight. Do your duty Madi, stand down." Bellamy was shocked to see Madi falter at this new Octavia. 

"Fine." She said, and as quickly as she arrived, she was gone. Turning on her heal and running out the door, Gaia not far behind. 

Clarke was pale on the bed. Her face drained of color. It was horrifying- she looked dead. She twitched and then she was seizing. 

Her body writhing around the bed, as someone screamed. Jackson was yelling out orders, and Bellamy just stared horrified. Her little body arching of the metal table as she continued to thrash around. 

"Do something!" He shouted, "She's she's dying!" Jackson shoved him out of the way and then he couldn't see anything but her heart rate monitor. 

"Come on Clarke." He whispered. "Come on, please" 

Raven was shaking, and Emori placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

"Clarke!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol.
> 
> I"M SORRYYYYYY
> 
> this took me so long to update, but I did it! Please please comment!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oooo things r getting tense 👀

It's been two weeks. 

Clarke's been asleep for 2 weeks, and Bellamy's died a little inside every day. It was crushing. The guilt, the fear, the love, it felt like- it felt like when he left Clarke to die in Primfaya. 

How many times did the same story have to happen? How many times was he going to be responsible for the death of Clarke Griffin? Primfaya. Josephine. Now.

God he hadn't even left her bedside. He squeezed her hand gently running his fingers over her knuckles, as if pleading with her to come back to him. The door swung open and Madi walked in. 

Madi was still refusing to speak to anyone. The only person she talked to was Murphy, and that was solely due to the fact that Luca was staying with Murphy, and Madi and Luca were atattched at the hip. Sure enough, Luca followed Madi into the room, and carefully took a seat next to Clarke. 

For the first couple of days that Clarke was asleep, nobody left her bedside. Not one of them could do it. They all camped out in the medbay. Hope, Echo, Gabriel, Octavia, Raven, Murphy, Emori, Miller, Jackson, Niylah, Gaia, all of them were there. The _only_ person excused was Indra who had to sort everything out, but even she found time to visit. 

Slowly, everyone started to move around again. Yet, they all still visited. Madi refused to leave, Luca steady at her side, until a couple more days when she reluctantly relented. Nobody had gotten through to Bellamy and hardly anyone had tried. 

Emori had tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, and he just felt that crushing guilt once again. 

He was trying to do the right thing. 

That was it. 

And in the end, that cost him his whole world. 

He felt sick. 

If Clarke didn't make it through this, then he wouldn't either, and everyone knew it. 

He looked up and Luca shot him a small smile, those two were too young for all of this. Too young to deal with the horrors of death and war, her should've protected them better. 

That was his job, right? To protect others. All his life it's been to protect. Protect Octavia, protect Clarke, protect the 100, protect Skycruuuuu, protect Madi. 

He failed, every single time. 

A gentle hand touched his shoulder, he turned and saw his sister. 

" _Bellamy,_ " she said softly. "You can't do this. You can't let yourself fall apart like this." 

"Bellamy get the hell up." A new sharp voice comanded. He whirled around 

"Murphy!" Octavia exclaimed, "I told you that I was handling this."Murphy rolled his eyes. 

"Forgive me, if I don't exactly hmm believe you." 

"Get out." 

"Make me _Bloodreina_." Murphy said mockingly. Octavia clenched her jaw. 

"You're infuriating."

"It's a Murphy thing." Murphy quipped back. Murphy turned to him then, and Octavia huffed, but left the room. 

"Bellamy siting here wallowing in your self pity is not going to do anything." Bellamy narrowed his eyes. 

"You have no idea-"

"Really, I think I have some idea Blake. Everybody here treated Clarke like absolute crap. We all liked to blame her and now she's dying in front of our eyes _again._ It's the same freaking thing every single time, we all vow that we won't let this happen again, yet the second she's better we use her and the cycle continues. I know your in love with Clarke, hell everybody on this planet probably knows Bellamy, but Clarke would want you to get up and do something useful."

Bellamy sighed rubbing his hand over his face. 

"And guess what, Clarke was never our only leader. It's always been the two of you, and right now we've got nobody. No Clarke, no Bellamy. So you need to go take a fucking shower because you smell, and step up."

Bellamy stood then, glanced fleetingly at Clarke and clasped Murphy's hand, and for the first time in weeks, left the room. 

* * *

Clarke Griffin woke up to the sound of her friends voices. 

She attempted to blink, but she couldn't quite get that to work. So, she listened. Her brain felt foggy but she managed to pick up the. voices in the room.

Murphy, Raven, Gabriel, Emori, Octavia, Jordan, and two voices she vaguely recognized. 

"How'd you get him to leave?" Raven asked

"That's a secret you'll never know Reyes."

"I hate you."

"Feelings mutual." 

"Seriously," Emori said cutting in, "It's a good thing he's not here." Someone sighed.

"I know, I mean the last thing she said was to him. I just- I don't know how beneficial it would be for Bellamy to be here when she wakes up." Murphy finished, oddly serious. 

Clarke felt like she had been doused in cold water. 

Shit. 

Shit. shit. shit. shit. 

Bellamy knows that she's in love with her. 

What the hell was she thinking. Why would she say that. 

She wanted to punch herself in the face, god this is humiliating. 

"Clarke?" Gabriel asked hesitantly. 

Clarke kept her eyes closed, praying that they would still believe she was asleep. 

"Clarke were monitoring your health right now, we know you're awake." Octavia deadpanned.

Well, shit. 

Hesitantly, she opened her eyes, blinking wearily. 

Her friends faces slowly came into focus. 

She smiled sheepishly and Octavia rolled her eyes. 

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Jordan said cheerfully. 

"Glad to be back." she responds, Jordan's smile falters slightly, and she frowns. "Hey." she says grasping his hand all gentle concern, "What's wrong?" 

He swallows hard, and then turns his head slightly. 

"We thought you _died_ Clarke." She can't help the slight furrow of her brow, the confusion that flickers on her face, and the others pick up on it. Clarke catches herself though, and shoots him a wry smile, hoping for humour.

"Happens all the time Jordan." He frowns at that. 

"Well it shouldn't!" Raven snaps, and Clarke can't help the shock. She whirls her head round and stares at her. 

"it shouldn't." Raven repeats softly as if talking to herself. Raven looks up at her then, meets her eyes. "I'm so _sorry_ Clarke."

She grasps Raven's hand. 

" _Hey,_ you've got nothing to be sorry for." Murphy snorts, but Raven ignores her and smiles sadly at Clarke. 

"Yes I do Clarke, the fact that you can't see that is proof enough." Clarke's head hurts too much for this, so she lets herself fall back to sleep, Raven still clutching her hand. 

* * *

Two weeks later, Clarke is out of the hospital wing. 

She hasn't seen Bellamy once. She can't help the hurt she feels at it. She poured her heart out to him and he- he hasn't even visited her once. 

Madi and Luca stay by her side all the time. They're good for each other, they balance each other out. If Madi is fire then Luca is ice. He's a steady presence in Clarke's life now. When she saw how close they were- she originally thought she'd be adopting another kid, Murphy and Emori beat her to it. 

They were protective of the boy, and he was going to keep staying with them. Personally, Clarke thought this was good for Murphy and Emori. Luca wasn't really there son, not the way Madi was hers, not yet at least, but they cared for each other, and that was enough. 

Madi was pulling Clarke down the road to there new house, practically bouncing on her toes. 

"You're going to love it Mom!" Madi exclaimed, chattering aimlessly, Luca and Clarke shared a grin."It's so pretty and we got you a paint set! The house looks awesome, Bellamy worked on building the house for ages-" 

"Bellamy." Clarke interrupted sharply. 

Madi's eyes widened, and spluttered for a minute. "I-uh..."

"Bellamy built me a house?" Clarke questioned, incredulous. Madi immediately started shaking her head, but Luca nodded. 

"What are you doing!" Madi hissed, but Clarke was too far away to hear the boys response. She had already breakout into a sprint for the center of the town where Bellamy's familiar flop of curls stood.

"Clarke!" Raven exclaimed as she ran past. 

"Where's the fire!" Murphy hollered. Raven and Murphy shared a look when she didn't stop running and chased after her. 

Clarke stopped right behind Bellamy, who was turning around at the commotion. When he saw her, a thousand emotions flashed behind his brown eyes. 

" _Clarke-"_ He said, voice hoarse and soft and hard and gentle and kind and tough and full of _something_ that she had never been able to figure out. She shoved him, _hard._ And he stumbled back harshly. 

"Woahhh." Murphy said from behind her, but she paid him no mind. 

"You built me a house!" She interrupted, Bellamy's eyes widened and then a new resolve was built in them. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. 

"Why the hell did you build me a house?!?!" She exclaimed. Bellamy narrowed his eyes at her, and Clarke was reminded of the drop ship days when they were constantly at each others throat. 

"Why the hell not!" He exclaimed back, stalking closer. Clarke had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes.

"Holy shit it's happening." Octavia murmured. Clarke didn't even spare her audience a glance, she kept her eyes piercing into Bellamy's, he returned her treatment. She didn’t expect anything less.

"Oh my god, you are _infuriating_!" She yelled, pushing herself up to her tip toes. 

" _I'm_ infuriating!" He scoffed, throwing up his hands incredulously. 

"Yes, you are! You built me a house but you couldn't even visit me once in the hospital!" 

"I didn't leave your bedside for two weeks!"

"So why didn't you come when I woke! I waited and waited and waited! But you never came!" Bellamy swallowed, _hard._

"I almost got you killed! Why the hell would you want to see me" he said, voice low. 

"Oh my god. You still don't get _it_!" She burst, exasparated, and frustrated, and just a little bit in love with the way Bellamy's eyes darkened when she stepped closer to him. 

"Get what Princess?!" He scoffed, shaking his head, attempting to pull himself away from his fantasy trance, but failing as she inches even closer. He didn’t even notice his nickname slipping back in effortlessly. 

"Get that I love you! I love you, you complete! idiot!" She was out of breath now, her chest heaving. They were centimeters against each other now, and she could feel his breath on her face as he looked down at her.

She didn't stand down. She kept her eyes locked on his as he scanned them for any evidence of a lie, his eyes flickered to her lips. And then he was grabbing her waist and pulling her flush against him. She gasped as, In one swift motion, he cradled her jaw and kissed her. Her hands instinctually flew up to his curls, and she tangled them desperately. 

He pulled away, too quickly for her liking, and rested his forehead on hers. People were cheering behind her. 

"You mean it?" He questioned, and there was something vulnerable in his voice that warned Clarke that now was not time for a joke. Her eyes flicked upwards to meet his. 

"I love you, Bellamy Blake." He grinned, lopsided and full of life and love, and she wanted to paint a picture of it and make him smile like that every day. 

"God,” Bellamy teased, smirking at her, “no need to be so dramatic about it” she huffed and swatted him on the shoulder causing him to yelp. She laughed at the expression on his face. “Yea yeah Laugh it up Griffin. “ He hovered close to her and whispered into the shell of her ear. “But the jokes on you because I’m pretty damn in love with you too.”  
  


He grinned as he leant back down to kiss her again and she felt like she could taste sunshine. Yes, they had problems to work out. Yes, they weren’t perfect. Yes, they had trauma and anxiety and loss, but in that moment none of it mattered. All she had to do was look at Bellamy’s face and she’s know it was worth it. 

She smiled at him as she tilted her head back to laugh at trees she thought she would never see again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank u thank u thank u to all the people who left comments! Ur support is what made me continue this story!!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys think in the comments please! Your comments always make my day!!!!


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